When disciplining children, many parents ask the same question — what is the best way to do it? The Montessori Method has been around for over 100 years and provides a rich and holistic approach to discipline that values reasonableness, mutual respect, and collaboration between parent and child. Keep reading if you’re looking for an alternative form of discipline centered on fostering creativity while setting clear boundaries.
What Is the Montessori Method?
The Montessori Method was developed by Italian physician and educator Dr. Maria Montessori in the early 1900s. It is an educational approach that emphasizes self-direction, respect, and cooperative learning to cultivate children’s curiosity, creativity, problem-solving skills, and critical thinking. This teaching philosophy is based on the idea that children are naturally eager to learn and thrive when given an environment with a variety of exciting activities geared toward their developmental level, hands-on exploration of subjects, facilitation from adults instead of direct instruction, and freedom within limits. The goal is for children to take charge of their learning process and become independent lifelong learners. One element of the Montessori Method is discipline as a form of education rather than punishment or reward. Discipline refers to providing children with guidelines they can use to regulate their behavior while developing their autonomy. Parents are encouraged to explain reasonable limits while also allowing their child room to make mistakes without feeling judged or criticized. Discipline should never be overly authoritarian — instead, it should be consistent, loving, and respectful and provide an opportunity for growth. Parents need to be consistent when setting expectations and consequences when these expectations are not met so that children understand the consequences of their actions in a loving manner while building trust with their parents or caregivers along the way.
How to Discipline Children the Montesorri Way
Establish Boundaries
Setting boundaries helps your child learn autonomy and self-discipline Boundaries are a necessary component in allowing children to develop their social knowledge and behavior without hurting themselves or others, as well as respecting their environment’s structure and rules. Establishing these boundaries helps children develop an understanding of social norms, thinking skills, and self-regulation abilities that will help them become considerate adults. To help create an environment that builds autonomy and self-discipline, provide clear expectations and ways to meet them. Explain what is expected of the child while emphasizing why it is important they do so. Also, provide guidelines on how they can accomplish those tasks — this helps guide their independence in making decisions along with fostering problem-solving skills. When setting up boundaries such as curfews, explain the reasons behind them, so the child understands it’s for their safety or why those limits are important for respectful relationships with other people or the environment.
Encourage Independence
In the Montessori method, teachers in a classroom or parents at home guide children as they develop independence by offering supportive direction rather than issuing punishment. Supportive direction guides children as they learn through independent exploration and discovery, while punishments like time-outs may only serve to stifle natural creativity. Parents can use Montesorri discipline at home by creating an atmosphere of learning that is full and fun, with opportunities for physical and mental growth. Avoid “helicopter parenting” by allowing children to explore the world around them and make their own choices while still offering direction and assistance. Give them independence and safety limits, so they know the risks are understood beforehand. Montessori discipline encourages children to take ownership of their behaviors and learn problem-solving skills for themselves instead of relying on someone else to tell them what to do. Here are some tips:
Open communication – Talk often with your child about appropriate behaviors and explain why certain behavior is important so they can understand it at their own level
Respect your child’s feelings – Acknowledge those feelings without judgment and then help them find ways to manage it instead of outpouring negative emotions
Set reasonable expectations – Explain clearly what is expected but make sure it is within the realm of possibility
Provide guidance – Redirect attention instead of punishing; provide insight into better choices instead of dictating decisions
Role model positive behavior – Use discipline positive parenting to show your child how you handle challenging situations
Understand the Child’s Emotions
Use their emotional outbursts as a chance to help them grow To guide children effectively, we must first understand how children process and communicate their emotions. Montessori theory teaches that traditional punishment techniques, such as time-outs or spanking, are not only ineffective ways of conveying discipline but can be harmful to children. Even when discipline is appropriate, Montessori educators recognize that it must be addressed in a loving, holistic manner while also considering each child’s individual needs. When disciplining a child through the Montessori Method, you should strive to focus on understanding and expressing your own emotions in an appropriate fashion and helping your child learn how to express his or her feelings constructively and healthily. Instead of seeing a tantrum as a negative event that should be suppressed, the Montessori method encourages teachers and parents to recognize these outbursts as opportunities for growth and learning.
Implement Rewards and Consequences
Rewards and consequences are two of the most common methods to teach children positive behaviors. The Montessori methodology includes both types of discipline but emphasizes rewarding desirable behavior in a gentle, non-coercive manner. In a Montessori classroom, rewards are more effective than punishments. Positive reinforcement is emphasized and should include verbal praise and warm acknowledgment. Rewards can be tangible items like stickers or small treats, but they can also be more abstract, such as extra time with a teacher or free play time. The key is to recognize progress in small steps so that each accomplishment is acknowledged and rewarded. Consequences may also be used when appropriate, but the goal should never be to shame the child. Instead, focus on helping the child understand why their behavior was inappropriate and what steps they should take to avoid it happening again. Ultimately, consequences should be given as reinforcement for positive behavior rather than punishment for bad behavior.
Final Thoughts
Disciplining children in the Montessori way is a great alternative to traditional methods. It encourages self-discipline, teaches respect, and promotes independence. If you’re looking for a school that offers Montessori-style education and discipline, you’ve come to the right place. At Karter Schools, we have several locations, including a Montessori School in Gainesville and a Montesorri School in the Chantilly area. Contact us today to book a tour!
